Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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