You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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