who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
and she was petting her beer can
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
