it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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