im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
