is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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