yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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