What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm at about main and main street
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
