Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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