We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Success! We fucked roommates!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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