my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
