from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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