I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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