your room smells of hookers.
And success
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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