I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
