Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
