It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
