We're facebook friends in real life
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
