We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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