Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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