My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
