If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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