dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
