you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
