Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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