in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
