He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
