if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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