had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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