i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
