Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
