His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
