You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
