There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
