Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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