Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
