She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
