ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
