I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
