I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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