You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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