some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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