It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I AM VODKA MAN
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
