do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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