Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
