I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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