I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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