OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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