What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
