I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
