It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
