I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
