i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
