I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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